Health Problems and Insanity

I feel like I've been on a roller coaster ride lately. First, in January (New Year's Eve to be exact) I ended up getting bronchitis that lasted several weeks. Then I had a sinus infection. Then I had the trifecta: a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, and a UTI. So I've been on a month of antibiotics. Well, I still have the yeast infection and am getting that treated. But the worst of all of this is that my pap smear came back abnormal. I have to have a colposcopy next week and their probably going to biopsy my cervix tissue.

First of all, being sick AT ALL freaks me out and sends me over the edge. Second, this is an invasive procedure. It is scary and unpleasant AND the possibility of cancer exists. And my mind will just run with that one. My allergist had me go to give blood today because he's worried I might have a compromised immune system because of all of the infections I get. On top of having cancer I am now convinced that I have AIDS. My HIV test is scheduled for Friday.

On top of all of this health shit, my professor/boss person told me I have to work an extra 4-5 hours per week because we are short staffed. So, the panic attacks, sleepless nights, constant worrying, constant preparation for teaching, going to class, going to my doctor appointments, conducting therapy, and all of the other bizillion things I do have to get crammed in to the week even further so I can make room for MORE WORK. When the hell am I supposed to take care of myself? What about exercise, meditation, ME TIME? Not to mention, when am I supposed to get my house packed up to move in 2 1/2 weeks? I explained to my PSYCHOLOGY professor that I was extremely stressed, anxious and bogged down with work and struggling to have my "own" time. To which he replied calously, "Life is stressful". I don't think he really understands the word stressful. I shouldn't have expected more form him because he was basically similarly obnoxious when I told him this past August that my dad had been diagnsoed with leukemia. In response to my apology if my work should suffer during the semester he said, "Johnny Carson went through 3 divorces and he kept a smile on his face". I suppose I should try to emulate Johnny Carson a bit more....